If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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