HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
