no, he came in my armpit
barbara walters just said penis...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Lo siento on account of my penis...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
