I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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