I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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