She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
