when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
