What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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