You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I look better un-naked...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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