if you like me you must not know who I am
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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