You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
