Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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