omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
