she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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