Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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