I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize