I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I AM VODKA MAN
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
