I wanna bring you to show and tell
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
