I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
