Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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