I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
