a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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