So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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