I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize