So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
