Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
