Pappa wants mamma naked
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
