Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
