Non-Jews are for practice
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
