In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
