And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
