so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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