in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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