I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
