Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
