just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
