If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
