i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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