WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
