Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
