I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
