I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
