my vag is so smooth its legendary
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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