just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize