I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
