so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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