I wish I could punch you in the face.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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