wat bout pragnant strippers??
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize