dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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