you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
