Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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