i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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