I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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