why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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