I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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