He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize