just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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