My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just high enough for therapy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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