We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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