Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
