so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
