He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i love accidental penises.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
