How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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