I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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