Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
