Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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