tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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