Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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