Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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