somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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