Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
