So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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