I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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