I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
